


soon you'll get better

by buckleydiaz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck Centric, Cancer, Getting Together, It's kinda sad, Lung Cancer, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sick Character, Sickfic, buck has cancer, pregnant maddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24234781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckleydiaz/pseuds/buckleydiaz
Summary: Buck walked into work knowing it could be the last time he ever works at the 118.
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 8
Kudos: 215





	1. Last Day

Three weeks ago Evan Buckley received the worst news of his life. It was definitely the worst news he ever heard and he's heard a lot of bad stuff. Sitting in the exam room with his sister by his side as the doctor explained he has stage two lung cancer was the worst moment of his life. He chose to ignore it. Instead of fighting his battles Buck decided to ignore as long as he could. 

He tried to keep it a secret. He asked Maddie not to say anything to Chimney or anyone else. Maddie voiced her concerns to him but it was his battle and his decision. However, she did convince him to talk to Bobby and let him know what was going on. 

**One Week after the** **Diagnosis**

Buck pulls into Bobby's driveway and sits in his car for a few minutes before he gets the nerves to go to the door. Buck manages to knock on the door and within seconds Athena is on the other side.

"Buck, what's wrong?"

"Is Bobby here?" He replies stuttering. Athena nods and lets Buck in. Bobby is standing in the kitchen preparing some food when he looks up and sees the crying 28 year old just standing there. They just stare at each other for a few seconds before Bobby breaks the silence.

"Buck are you okay?" Buck shakes his head in response and Bobby leads him to the table so they can talk.

"I um need to tell you something. I don't know what you're going to say but I want to keep working as long as I can," Buck starts.

"What is it?" Bobby's concerned face looks more concerned than ever right now.

"I um, went to the doctors," Buck pauses for a second as tear began to shed down his face, "and he said that I have stage two lung cancer." That was the first time he ever said it out loud and he just started crying hysterically. Bobby doesn't say anything he just pulls Buck into a hug and they sat like that for a while before Buck pulls back.

"Did the doctor say anything about you working?" Bobby asks.

"He said once treatment starts I probably won't be able too. But I want to work. Bobby, this job is my whole life."

"Buck, I'll see what we can do but your health is more important."

"Bobby, please. I don't have anything else," Buck says looking at him with teary eyes.

**Three Weeks after the** **Diagnosis**

Today could be Buck's last day working as a firefighter. Buck and Bobby's deal included Buck taking time off when his chemo began. In two days his chemo will begin. Buck walks into the 118 to see Eddie and Chim talking in the locker room and he hears Bobby and Hen upstairs talking. Today is a normal day for them. How could it be different when they don't even know about Buck. He goes into the locker room and Eddie instantly starts talking to him about Christopher. 

"Buck." Eddie says trying to get his attention.

"Yeah?" He responds looking up from where he was staring at the ground. 

"You good?" Eddie asks again.

"Yeah just tired that's all."

Buck heads upstairs after he changes into his uniform. He completely ignores Hen and the other firefighters upstairs and goes right into Bobby's office where he is sitting at his desk.

"You need to tell them," Bobby says without looking up from his paperwork.

"I don't want to. I don't want today to be my last day. I don't want all of this to be true." Buck says crying a little. He's been crying a lot recently. When he's working he's distracted but all other times he's just sad about his own life. He has nothing else besides his work.

"Today will not be your last day. You just need to take a break from work. When you are ready and healthier you will come back. Buck, you always have a place here," He says reassuring him.

"Can you tell them?" Buck asks.

"Buck, this is about you. You should be the one to tell them." Bobby says and then the alarm goes off. They both rush out of the office and downstairs to the trucks. Buck takes his normal seat next to Eddie and Bobby in the front. 

The call was quick and simple. Two. teenagers got themselves stuck in the baby swings on a playground and needed to be cut out. These were the kinds of calls they love. On their way back to the station they were all laughing about the embarrassment those teenagers faced when they needed to be cut out. As they arrive to the station they all leave the truck and Buck goes straight to the bathroom without noticing Eddie following him. 

"Buck, what's going on?" Eddie says as he follows him into the bathroom.

Buck takes a deep breath which causes him to cough a little, "Today is my last day here, at least for now."

"Wait, what do you mean? Where are you going?"

"A few weeks ago, I got diagnosed with," he pauses and the look on Eddie's face changes dramatically, "lung cancer, stage two." 

"Buck..." Eddie begins to say.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Only Maddie and Bobby know."

Eddie doesn't respond. Instead he just pulls his best friend into his arms and hugs him until the alarm rings again. 


	2. The Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flashback to Buck's doctor appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on chapter 1! I know the chapters are short but I'm hoping I'll be able to update more frequently.

_Maddie had a special kind of sister intuition with Buck. She knew something was up with him but every time she brought it up he denied it. She invited him out to breakfast the one day they had a shared day off. Buck didn't want to. He wasn't eating as much and she knew that._

_They enter a local cafe and get seated at a table. When the waiter brought over their drinks Buck began coughing. He couldn't stop. He excused himself to the bathroom and returned a few minutes later a little bit out of breath but nothing too concerning._

_"Can you go to a doctor?" Maddie asks out of concern._

_"I don't need to go to a doctor it's just a cough," he replies._

_"It's been weeks and it keeps getting worse. The clinic is right down the street. Go and get looked at and then they'll give you some antibiotics or something."_

_"Maddie, it's nothing I don't need to see a doctor."_

_"Please it'll make me feel better if we know nothing is wrong," she says and the inner nurse in her takes over a little bit._

_"Fine. Just the clinic." Buck caves and they continue their breakfast. When they used to go out for breakfast Buck used to eat a lot. He enjoyed everything they had to offer. Today he only ordered a side breakfast salad and toast. He didn't even finish it all. It concerned Maddie but she didn't want to say anything and have him change his mind about the doctors._

_After their breakfast they decided to walk to the clinic. It was nearby and a sunny day in Los Angeles. It was still early and the clinic wasn't busy. They checked in at the desk and waited for their name to be called. Buck hated hospitals and going to the doctors. He was bouncing his knee and fiddling with his fingers to try to calm down._

_They_ _didn't wait long. The doctor did a quick examination but then asked to draw some blood. Both Maddie and Buck were confused because it was only supposed to be a cough. The doctor says he just wants to be sure nothing else is wrong. They're not at the clinic long before the doctor recommended they go to the hospital for further consultation._

_"It's gonna be okay," Maddie says as she drives them to the hospital._

_"We wouldn't be going here if it was gonna be okay," Buck states in nervousness._

_A nurse at the hospital takes them to an exam room and Buck changes into a hospital gown. Dr. Sherwood introduces himself to them as the head of the cardio department._

_"We've received the results of your blood tests from the clinic and we were concerned with what showed up. It looks like there is possible cancerous cells in your blood right now but we would need to do a CT scan to be sure. I don't want you to be afraid it looks like if it is anything to be concerned about, we've might've caught it in time," Dr. Sherwood explains to Buck and Maddie. At this point too much is running through Buck's head. The second the doctor said cancerous Buck stopped listening. He stopped feeling. His world stopped moving. But he continued to move._

_After the scan the doctor sat down with Buck and Maddie to discuss the results. "Unfortunately it looks like it is cancer. Stage two. There are two small tumors in your right lung, as well as infected lymph nodes," he says showing them the scans, "Mr. Buckley, lung cancer is very uncommon in healthy 28 year olds. I do believe this is a result from your work as a firefighter. I would like to recommend you stop working. It may be difficult for you to continue working once undergoing treatment."_

" _And what treatment will that be?" Maddie asks because Buck is_ _obviously too distracted to think, "I'm going to recommend chemotherapy to shrink the tumors and prevent growth and hopefully we will be able to remove the tumors with surgery. But it is important that treatment starts right away."_

_"No. I uh need time. I don't want to do all this right now," Buck says avoiding eye contact._

_"Mr. Buckley-"_

_"How long do I have if I uh don't do any treatment?" Buck interrupts._

_"I would say a year to 18 months because we caught it early. However, you're young and mostly healthy. There is a strong chance for you to beat this with the right amount of treatment."_

_Buck tells the doctor he needed time to think about but the whole car ride home Maddie tells him he needs to do the treatments. Maddie won't let her brother throw away his life so easily._


	3. Shift's over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck wanted his last shift to last forever.

The shift hasn't been an interesting one. There were two hours left of this 24 hour shift and most of the calls hadn't been too exciting. As terrible as it sounded Buck wanted an earthquake or a 30 car pileup to make his last day an interesting one. Everyone knew it was Buck's last day now and most of them have been trying to treat him the same as always but it was tough. Bobby made Buck's favorite meal, Chimney offered to let Buck drive the ambulance, Eddie let Buck do the non-disgusting chores, and Hen just made sure he was feeling okay all day.

The alarm rang for what could've been the last call of the day. They got called to a five alarm fire in an apartment complex. They were the fourth station to arrive. It. was just the bang Buck wanted to go out with. 

Bobby checked in with the commander of the scene and then deployed his team. "Eddie get in there and help with Evac. Hen and Chimney on triage. Buck you're with me."

"C'mon Bobby," Buck responded with disappointment in his eyes, "this is probably my last call."

Bobby looks at Eddie and then back to Buck, "Fine. Go with Diaz and help with evac," Bobby's words make Buck smile and pumped. He hasn't felt this way in weeks, "but be careful," Bobby finishes his statement and gives Eddie a look before him and Buck start to go into a burning building. 

Buck follows Eddie into the building. A few firefighters from other stations are also evacuating everyone. Buck and Eddie head up to the third floor. Buck is following behind Eddie slowly but he's determined to finish the job he was born to do. They begin knocking on doors and kicking them open. Doing a quick sweep of each apartment before moving onto the next. Eddie has been keeping a close eye on Buck when he lets out a heavy cough every five minutes. He keeps reassuring Eddie that he's fine and not to worry.

The fourth or fifth apartment they entered they heard crying coming from a back bedroom. Buck follows Eddie back there and they enter a nursery. In the nursery are two cribs with small toddlers in each, both crying hysterically. "Did somebody just leave two babies up here during a fire?" Eddie asks loudly as they each pick up one of the babies. 

"No! Someone still has to be in here. They wouldn't just leave their kids." Buck replies, "I'm gonna go look for the parent."

"No Buck. You are not going off on your own. I can look and you can start heading down with the babies."

"Eddie! I'll be quick. I'll meet you in the hallway." Buck yells back as he passes the baby he's holding to Eddie. He leaves the nursery and walks around to the back bedroom and bathroom.

"Buck, Eddie, you guys need to start heading down now! You got a few minutes... maybe less to get out of there," Bobby yells through the radios.

"Negative on evac, cap. Buckley's doing a final sweep," Eddie replies which causes Bobby to panic down on street level. Eddie is still holding the two babies and he knows he can't risk their lives for Buck. However, he also knows that he can't leave without Buck. "Buck! Get out of there!" Eddie yells into the apartment. "Buck where are you!" Eddie yells again.

After waiting a short time for a response Buck responds and leaves the apartment, "I'm here! Nobodies in there!" Buck sprints out of there as they head for the stairwell. "Coming down Cap," Buck says through the radio making everyone feel a little more relived. When they reach the street level and exit the building they hand the babies off to Hen and Chim. Buck rips his mask off and begins gasping for breath. He just ran down three flights of stairs in a burning building with lung cancer, he can barely breathe right now. 

"Buck, let's get you on some oxygen," Bobby suggests but Buck shakes his head in rejection. He doesn't want to look weak. Eddie just did the same thing and is breathing just fine right now. "You need it. I wasn't asking," Bobby puts a hand on his back and takes him to the ambulance to sit down. Buck sits down and breathes with a mask on for a few minutes as Eddie briefs Bobby on what happened inside. Before the call Bobby and Eddie talked about him keeping an eye on Buck for his last shift. He knew Buck wasn't at his strongest but he didn't want to say no to him knowing how sick he could possibly get. Eddie felt bad but he knew there was nothing he could've done to not have Buck finish searching the apartment. 

After the last call of the day the crew normally restocks ambulances and trucks with new supplies they would need for the next shift before heading home. That's what Buck planned to do. It was muscle memory at this point. He didn't even realize his last shift was technically over. 

"Buck, you should go home now," Bobby says as he approaches him.

"I can finish this," he replies gesturing to the ambulance.

"Buck, go home. You need to rest your chemo starts tomorrow."

"I'm good. I can do this. I don't need to leave," at this point the whole team was watching from a distance.

"This is not up for discussion, go home and get some rest. You look exhausted."

"I'm fine. I swear." Buck did look tired. He was tired but he was trying his best to hide it. 

"This is temporary. You'll be back soon."

He just shakes his head in response, "you don't know that," he says as tears begin to fill his eyes,

Bobby hates this. He hates that he's sending Buck home for the last time. He gestures over to Eddie who comes up behind Buck.

"Buck, your tired let me take you home now." Eddie says soothingly to him and follows him to the locker room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapters. Updates will be coming frequently.


	4. First Day of Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck has chemo for the first time.

Buck wakes up to Maddie knocking on his apartment door. She has a key but it's only to be used in emergencies. Buck tries to tune it out and continue sleeping but he knows Maddie would think he died on the bathroom floor if he doesn't let her in. He slowly and groggily makes his way down the stairs and to his door as the knocking intensifies. 

"It's early," Buck says as he opens the door.

"Good morning, we are already running late," Maddie replies as she puts her keys down on his kitchen table.

"It's not like they won't treat me if I'm late."

"Buck, today is a big day. You're getting more scans done and your first dose of chemo," she begins, "get dressed so we can go."

"I am dressed," Buck answers as he is wearing sweatpants and a stained T shirt.

"You could change your shirt,"

"it's just a doctors appointment," he says back snarky.

"Yeah well maybe there are gonna be some potential girlfriend or boyfriend interests there. Maybe you could date a doctor," Maddie says as Buck walks back upstairs to change his shirt.

"Maybe, you could stop trying to set me up with everyone you meet."

"Maybe I would if you just told Eddie how you feel."

"You said you would stop bringing that up," Buck finishes. Everyone knew Buck had a minor thing for Eddie. Except Eddie. They were best friends but the oldest story in the book is falling for your best friend. Buck did. But Eddie only dated women and Buck didn't want to taste rejection again. 

_Buck's boy crush all started on their first "sleepover" together. Buck went over Eddie's house after shift to hang out with Christopher. A few beers in and neither Buck or Eddie were capable to drive. Eddie being the good host he is offered for Buck to take his bedroom and he would take the couch. After much arguing they both took the couch and slept pretty close together. Eddie did have a large sectional couch but Buck takes up a lot of room. They were both comfortable and it didn't bother Eddie that Buck dated both men and women. Like a good friend Eddie didn't care and he wasn't gonna treat his friend differently because of who he dated. They fell asleep and woke up closer together but Christopher in-between them._

That was the first time Buck realized he had feelings for Eddie. After that they always shared Eddie's bed when Buck slept over. They were closer than most adult men were with their friends. Everyone noticed, even Buck, but not Eddie. Eddie had no idea. When they hung out outside of work people assumed they were a couple. And when Buck was asked about it he didn't deny it. 

Maddie has been trying to help. He hasn't dated anyone since Ali and probably will never make a move on Eddie. She even tried to set him up with her co worker, Josh, but Buck couldn't take the hint. Maybe this cancer would be a way for him to meet someone knew.

At the hospital they first meet with his doctor who orders new scans and takes his blood again. They needed updated test results because Buck decided to wait so long before starting treatment. Buck hated this part. He hated having to stay still in the CT scan and he almost passed out every time they drew blood. Even a little amount. He didn't know what to expect from chemo.

He had an idea from the doctors telling him about the side effects. But what he didn't realize was how boring it would be. He was practically glued to a chair for two hours doing nothing. Maddie was there. Maddie was telling him all about the baby she was expecting with chimney and everything about work. Anything to keep Buck's mind from the chemicals rushing into his body.

The hard part came next. Since it was his first session the side effects would take time to kick in but he was instantly tired. He even almost passed out when he tried to stand up. A nurse and Maddie needed to help him to the car. Dizziness rushed through him on the walk to the parking lot that felt like forever. Afterwards Maddie drove him to get his medication from the pharmacy. She allowed him to wait in the car because there was no way he could stand in that line. When she returned to the car she read the instructions and gave him one of the anti nausea pills and one to reduce side effects hoping he would feel better. 

Buck was helped by Maddie to his bed the second they got back. He was too exhausted for anything else. The chemo hit him quick even though side effects weren't supposed to kick in yet. He fell asleep and she took the time to clean and do his laundry. Everything he would probably be to tired to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments on what you would like in this. Also hints of Buddie coming soon.


	5. What are friends for

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck asks Eddie to accompany him to the doctors appointment

Doctors and more doctors. That's Buck's life now. When he isn't at the hospital he's at home in too much pain or too weak to do anything. Chemo has been kicking his ass every minute since it started. His doctor said he would have bad days, really bad days, and not so bad but still bad days. Today was a really bad day. He woke up to an upset stomach and puked out the little food he ate into the trash can Maddie left by his bed just in case. He has chemo three days a week. It's been two days since his last chemo session which means he's due for another. The really bad days were typically right after chemo but currently he's on a four day streak.

His schedule was simple. First he had to go to a doctor's appointment to discuss last weeks test results, then while he's at the hospital he gets his chemo treatment, then he pukes out his brains, and sleeps for the rest of the day.

He woke up and threw up a little bit but nothing too bad. Turned on his phone to read a text from Maddie.

**Maddie (1 New Message): Sorry got called into work. I won't be able to take you to the hospital but I can pick you up if you don't mind waiting.**

Buck groans and rolls his eyes at the sight of the message. Normally he would be able to drive himself there but he knows his body and he knows he just doesn't have it in him today and he sure as hell can't get behind the wheel after chemo. He can't reschedule. But he can't go alone. Buck decides to text his best friend and ask for a ride. He feels guilty. It's his day off and he probably wants to be with his son all day but Buck didn't have another option.

**Buck (to Eddie): Hey. Are you able to give me a ride to the** **hospital? Maddie got stuck at work and I don't think I should be getting behind the wheel.**

Buck waited about two minutes and didn't receive a response.

**Buck (to Eddie): It's fine if you can't. I know you're probably busy.**

Buck hated this part. He hated feeling like a burden on people. He hated feeling helpless. He especially hated thinking that everyone else hated him because of this. Eddie loved Buck like a best friend. He was his best friend and he would never think of him as a burden on him or his family.

**Eddie (to Buck): Don't worry I'm not busy. What time do you want me to pick you up?**

Buck was relieved. He was relieved that he wouldn't go through today alone. He texted Eddie back to tell him to be here in an hour. Then he needed to start to get up. Getting up was the hardest part of the morning. He'd get dressed and use the bathroom but it always took longer than it should have. He gets distracted a lot. Staring at his reflection and seeing how tired he is and all the weight he lost. He barely looked like himself. His hair was greasy because he gave up on it knowing it'll fall out soon. He had dark circles under his eyes all the time because he was always exhausted. Buck was a large muscly man and now he is slowly becoming a tall skinny man. 

His apartment was not built for him anymore. The stairs felt like a chore. A chore that was so difficult to complete. He take two steps and he would need a break to catch his breath. He goes to his kitchen and takes out his medicine in his pill organizer Maddie got him. He dumped the meds into a cup of yogurt because it was easier for him to swallow. Water hurt his throat. Sitting at his kitchen table trying to make sure he got all of his meds out of the yogurt, Eddie enters. Eddie has a key and they're so comfortable with each other that he can come and go as he chooses. 

"Hey. How are you feeling? Cause you look like shit," Eddie says with a chuckle as he enters Buck's apartment.

"I feel like shit," he responds. Buck lets out an uncomfortable groan as he tries to stand up and Eddie rushes over to support. Buck keeps telling himself that he's just tired and that's why everything seems so hard.

When they get to the hospital Eddie doesn't leave Buck's side. He originally only asked for a ride but Eddie knew his best friend needed more than that. Eddie sits with him in his doctor's office while they wait. They could be getting good news like the cancer is no longer growing or bad news like it has progressed and gotten worse.

The doctor walks into the office, introduces himself to Eddie and gets straight to the point. "I am not going to sugarcoat this. Evan, your recent test results show that the cancer has progressed rapidly and you are technically now in stage three. It doesn't mean the chemo isn't working it just means the chemo is gonna need more time to work. Meaning, we are going to give you a higher dosage but that also means that the side effects are gonna be worse."

"Worse than they already are?" Buck responds snarky.

"I will prescribe you a new medication to help with that. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you today, Evan," He finishes and hands him the prescription note.

Buck sighs and he and Eddie leave the room. Buck was on the verge of tears and Eddie could tell. When they entered the empty elevator Eddie broke the ice. "Buck, are you okay?"

"How am I supposed to be okay? This is already terrible for me and it's only going to get worse," He says with tears in his eyes. Eddie takes a step closer to him and puts his hands on his shoulders. 

"You are strong and you can beat this. Okay? You are not going through this alone," Eddie says comforting him and Buck leans into his embrace.

The elevator doors open and they make their way to the chemotherapy room. They check in with the nurses and they hook Buck up to all the machines. Buck winces when they stick the needle in his arm and attach his IV. He should be used to it by now. The hour and a half goes by pretty quickly with Eddie distracting him with pictures and stories of Christopher. Before they know it a nurse comes back over and unhooks Buck from everything.

The hardest part is right after. He has trouble staying awake and maintaining his balance they barely even make it out of the building. By the time they reach the parking lot Buck is already out of breath and holding onto Eddie's arm for support.

"Why don't I go get the cat and you just sit here?" Eddie says as Buck nods in agreement and he sits him down on the bench. Eddie walks pretty quickly to the other end of the parking lot. When Eddie's gone and Buck is alone on the bench a man that appears to be homeless approaches Buck.

"Give me you money!" He screams at him and lightly kicks his leg to get his attention. Buck pays no attention to that man. He kicks him again. And yells louder. Buck still chooses to ignore him the best he could. "GIVE ME YOUR MONEY" He screams even louder and this time grabs Buck's shirt and forces him to stand up a little bit. At this moment Eddie approaches in his car and quickly jumps out. 

"What the hell man!" Eddie yells at him as he begins running over. The homeless man lets go of Buck's shirt and begins to run in the other direction. Eddie begins to chase after him but then stops to help Buck instead.

Buck is sitting on the bench out of breath and having a hard time breathing. "Buck, are you okay?" Eddie sits next to him and puts his hand on his chest. Buck slowly nods as he begins to slow his breathing a little. "What did he want from you?" Eddie asks.

"He just wanted some money but he didn't get anything." Buck says breathing heavy between each word. Eddie just helps Buck into the car and takes him home. Buck's rough day just got a lot more rough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is like a whole mess but please leave comments if you liked it!


End file.
